My First Time

You always remember your first time.

A few weeks ago I ventured into a bookstore and saw my book, The Pleasure of His Bed (In His Bed), for sale on the shelf. Over a year in the making, there it was, right there alongside the books of other authors. Familiar names I look forward to reading.

Hard. Slick. Real.

You always remember your first time.

The Joys of Sex…Research

Lately, as life has been very hectic, I’ve used my scant spare time for research. Now I won’t tell you where I’ve been online, but let’s just say it’s been an education. As a social psychologist, one of my favorite things to do is observe body language. Well, my recent foray into research has taught me a few new things about men, as well as how and what they are thinking.

We all know men expend a great deal of time and energy thinking about sex, research has proven that over and over again. And we all know men are visual creatures. Hence they look at women, a lot, and just the sight of certain body parts will turn them on. Nothing new, we women know that’s what’s going on when men chance a glance down our blouses, or turn to watch our backsides as we walk away.

But what I found so interesting in my research, was the level of thought going on beneath the surface. And not just the ‘what do I need to say or do so I can get some of that‘ kind of thinking.

Men are spending time figuring out what their partner wants, and making sure she gets it - from him, first. Before his own pleasure. Men are very interested in being told by a woman what she wants and more than willing to comply in that department. For her, not just for him. They know they will experience pleasure, but my recent research has conveyed the depths to which they will go to be certain their partner experiences a great deal of pleasure as well, first and foremost.

Perhaps it is an adrenaline rush to know they can bring a woman to pleasure in a wild, wild way, perhaps it’s an ego thing. I’m not sure. But from what I’ve learned lately, it’s definitely not selfish.

The Language of Lust

Lust is a predominate motivator of human thought and action. Thank goodness for dark sunglasses to hide that longer than appropriate look at the guy with really nice muscles (and no shirt) you get to see out on his jog most mornings, or the guy in line ahead of you at the coffee shop, dressed in a pair of perfect fitting slacks. Now you know why guy always say “ladies first”.  Sometimes the view from the back is…well, delicious.

No small thing, lust. It is why we kiss, why we touch…why we fantasize about that sweaty guy out on his morning jog suddenly stopping, pinning us against a tree and knowing just how we like to be kissed, and where. Or the man in the coffee shop dressed like the cover of a fashion magazine knowing just when to turn around, slide his gaze down our figure, look into our eyes and almost smile, letting us know he appreciates the way we look too.

Lust makes you want. Whether what you want is good for you or not, is not the point, nor does it matter. The fact is, you want. Lust has a language, an unspoken language, of it’s own. Guys are better at it, or not, depending on how you look at it than we girls are. Men can rarely hide the fact that they admire a woman’s form, or certain parts of it as the case may be, while women have a tendency to be more subtle when taking in her favorite particulars of a man’s body.

That language of mutual lust is what leads to eye contact, a smile, then repeated eye contact with broader smiles. And eventually if he’s confident enough, a conversation. Yes, lust has a language all its own. It hasn’t changed much in the last 30,000 years, but then again, neither has what we want at the end of the day, or during the day…

Good By Day, Naughty By Night

To a certain extent, we all lead double lives. But as an author of erotic romance novels, at the end of the day the eyeglasses come off and the hair comes down.

One of my favorite parts of the writing process is the character arc. I love to discover the ways in which my heroes and heroines come to terms with who they are and bridge the gap to become who they want to be. I love a shy heroine who learns the lessons of passion and gives her hero a bold run for his money in her quest for her own happiness.

So tonight as the lights go down, know that I’ll be naughty by night.

Naughty is Nice

Hands in the cookie jar five minutes before dinner? Naughty. Leaving your dirty clothes on the floor? Naughty. Dipping your spoon back into the ice cream container over and over again? Naughty. Getting naked? Now naughty takes on a whole new meaning.

And a nice one at that.

We all use our imagination to fulfill those longings for ‘things’ we wouldn’t normally do, but that secretly turn us on. While studies often report how many times men think about sex in a day, they often neglect the fact of fantasy. Men tend to think of the act, women tend to visualize all the slow and sensuous ‘getting there’ parts. Admit it or not, women use fantasy and daydreams as a means of escape during the day, and as a means of commiting acts she’s not brave enough to speak aloud. Although most every man would love to know, and be happy to re-enact, what’s going on his woman’s head as far as the bedroom arena. 

That is the main reason we read romance, the very reason we read erotic romance. 

Erotic romance fulfills those fantasies of all the things we wouldn’t normally do, with none of the ‘getting there’ bits left out. So the next time you want to be naughty, go for it. I’m sure you’ll find it quite nice.

Take Heart

Life has been more than hectic, hence the lack of posts for the last two months. But I am still writing. Working on several projects actually. Take it from me, if you’re a writer, you’ll write-regardless if you ever sell a book or not, regardless of how tired you are, you’ll find a  way to write.

I wrote 4 or 5 stories (3 of which were single titles) before I sold my first book. Don’t consider yourself sunk if getting published takes a while. This is a tough business, and very few people sell their first book, or even every book they write. Many famous authors have received rejection letters, I know some with file drawers full.

In my case, the very first book I sold did not publish due to financial problems of the publisher. So even selling isn’t a 100% guarantee you’ll see your book in print, or for sale. So take heart.

A Change of Style

My favorite books to read are classics. I love Seton and Flaubert, Emerson, Twain. Stuff no one reads much anymore. And I think I’ve figured out why. At least in part.

Stories like Dragonwyck and Madame Bovary are not long stories by the word count, but they take some time to read. You don’t plow through one of those in an afternoon on the beach and still get into the depth of the characters and setting, let alone the plot and tragedy of it all. For years I have collected anciently published classics. And while I do not have nearly as much time as I used to, I will pull out certain books and read passages now and again.

Authors told stories differently back then. Not only in the vocabulary they used, but in the way they made setting and time come alive, almost actual characters in the story. By the time you finished reading the book, you knew every nook and cranny, every piece of furniture, every bend in the river…

I miss those kinds of stories. In today’s market, the action starts right under your nose on page one, no build-up, no backstory, no lengthy description. All we ever write is just enough to give the reader a sense of time and place. Elaboration is considered unnecessary, frivolous, not publishable.

Why? It is a matter of society. More people watch television for information now than read the newspaper. Video games, computers and movies are time-killers and methods of escapism, not so much with books anymore. Being educated well enough to read is no longer the exception, nor do families sit around a fire in the hearth and listen to a story, or to someone read from a book.

People have become accustomed to immediacy. Information is not something we wait for, we Google it. We are impatient. We want information, entertainment. And we want it now. Action movies and stories start out with a bang and a boom, or at the very least evil lurking in the opening arrangement of music. They do not begin softly – unless someone or something is seconds away from being torn to shreds right before our eyes, all blood and screams.

What ever happened to just telling the story? To delving into emotion and tragedy, the psyche. Why does everything have to go boom?

Where Do You Do It?

So, where do you do it? A padded chair? The back garden on a sunny day? Oh, I know, in a corner booth at the coffeshop…

Writing, of course! Or are you accustomed to sitting in front of your computer screen? Do you write long hand on paper and transcribe it later? Use a laptop and travel?

In my post yesterday, I mentioned my AlphaSmart. It’s a little word processor that weighs about two pounds, runs for many hundreds of hours (that’s right, I said hundreds) on three batteries, automatically saves…

Now, before I start sounding like some kind of advertisement, let me say there are other brands of the same sort of thing out there. This just happens to be the one I own.

What I like about this device most is that I can take it any where and write. I don’t even need to find an outlet to plug it into like laptops often need. Just turn it on and start typing. It allows me the freedom to get comfortable in any chair, in any room of the house, the coffee shop, back yard or where ever.

I can only see a few lines at a time, so it’s difficult to edit myself to any real degree. And I don’t have to stare at an entire blank, white page on my desk top computer screen. I just write.

My first drafts are always done this way. As I fill a file, it’s simply a matter of plugging in my little wordprocessor, hitting the send button and…whamo! there are my pages, formatted all neat and perfect, the cursor blinking at me from my desk top computer. Not to mention the lack of distraction – no spider solitaire, internet, email. The AlphaSmart is just for writing.

So, do you have a favorite creative location? A routine or ritual of getting your butt into the chair somehow to get those pages out and into the computer? If so, feel free to share. The creative process is a wily one, and if it works for you it just might work for someone else.

Writing Around a Holiday

No doubt about it, it is tough to keep the word count going during the holidays. Especially when you are talking Thanksgiving and Christmas – the two big ones. Family, travel, friends, the parties to plan and attend, these are all very time consuming, stressful, and often necessary parts of the season. And then there’s all that shopping…ick.

I know. I’ve been there and done all of them.

One way that helps me keep the productivity progressing is to have some piece of what I’m working on with me when I am traveling. Sometimes it’s pages to edit, or research for my next story. If I’m actively writing, I’ll take along my AlphaSmart (word processor) so I can keep going.

Now don’t get me wrong, I never get a great deal done on holiday trips, but, the few minutes I can manage to sneak away and look at my story keeps it fresh in my mind. So even if I don’t get a single word written or edited, at least when I get back home and in my routine I am ready to pick right up with my story. I won’t need several days to re-read and refresh.

This year in particular, keeping my word count going is important. I have a novella to finish and turn in to my editor, as well as a three book proposal to write. All to be done over the holidays.

And this is the week when all the fun begins…

A Musical Muse?

In keeping with the theme of ‘Process’ that seems to have emerged this week, I thought I would bring up the topic of music. Many of the writers I know have a play list of music they listen to when they write. The songs change with each story to fit the feel and emotion they are trying to convey.

I tried this method of motivation once, but it just didn’t work for me. Which I thought was strange, because I can write with the television on in the background, or most any other noise. Writing in the middle of a busy coffee shop doesn’t bother me in the least, I simply fall into my story world and all those talking, moving people around me fade away.

But put the radio on…poof, there goes my ability to pay attention to the written word.

There must be something about music that draws me in so completely – the rhythm of the musical notes, the words, the harmonic sound of the voices. No, I don’t listen to the really hard stuff, it hurts my head. For me, music is too hypnotic to use it as a tool for creativity.

Over the years, my muse and I have come to an understanding…she works best early in the morning (not my choice) and she can’t focus with music playing.

Do any of you have such a fickle muse to placate?

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